Sunday, May 10, 2015

When Mother's Day Makes You Feel Like Shit...

It's 12:30 pm on Mother's Day and I'm sitting in a grocery store parking lot crying. Why? I simply came here to buy a Birthday cake for my youngest because it's my baby girl's 3rd birthday and I didn't have the joy in me needed to make a cake.

So I ran here real quick to get a cake. And as I'm pulling in, I'm seeing person after person walking out of the store with presents for the mamas in their lives. Beautiful bouquets of flowers, boxes of candy, balloons, baskets, etc. For a brief few moments I'm completely in awe of these people and their moms. How truly special their moms must be to rouse their children from bed to go pick out something special to honor them and show appreciation. How truly amazing that must feel...

Mother's Day only makes me sad. It makes me question what kind of wife and mom I am. Because surely if I was a special mom, a GOOD mom, I would be shown a tiny bit of appreciation today, right? My family would WANT to make me feel special.

Surely I wouldn't have been woken up by my kids fighting, to have to go downstairs and wash the dishes that I didn't do last night because when I got home I had a screaming headache and went to bed. I wouldn't have had to dry the dishes and start cooking breakfast. And I wouldn't be sitting in this parking lot, bawling my eyes out, for the second year in a row. No, instead, I'd be  smelling a beautiful bouquet of flowers, and reading a heartfelt card and getting hugs from my babies. Even homemade cards. "Happy Mother's Day" literally scribbled on a napkin. I'd treasure it forever.

How awful of a mommy must I be to have only 1 of my 3 kids tell me "Happy Mother's Day". To barely be acknowledged. Do I not clean enough? Do my home cooked meals not please their palates enough? Do the hearts I draw in the peanut butter of every single peanut butter and jelly sandwich I make them not make it taste better? Do my daily and nightly prayers over them go unheard? Do my "I love you's" fall on deaf ears? Do I not take them everywhere they need to go in a quick enough fashion?

All I know is that this "special" day serves to make me feel like total shit every year. Now, you may be thinking I'm just being a cry baby. And maybe you're right. But all I know is that when you give your all every single day of your life, and you're never shown appreciation for anything you do, hoping with all your heart for ONE special day isn't asking for much.

I truly hope that ALL mamas have a wonderful day full of love and appreciation. Because I'm going to live vicariously through you for today. My goal is simply to get through the day without letting them see my cry because I don't want them to feel bad. Tho I'm sure that by the time I get back home from my almost 2 hour trek to the store, they'll have realized what's going on, that they screwed up, and the hubster will probably have ran out to the nearest store to get me something to try and make up for it. It's the thought that counts, but what does that thought mean if it's only an afterthought? :(

Sending everyone so much love and light.

Saturday, March 28, 2015

Today's Look...

Extreeeme closeup in order to show my faaaavorite Lucrative Lip Gloss. Color name? Lethal. Ohhh yessss. 💋❤

Skin: ☆"Glorious Primer", (That's the real secret here), ☆"BB Flawless Moisturizing Foundation", ☆"Touch Mineral Pressed Powder".

Eyes: ☆Mineral Pigments in Daring, Sexy, and Curious. ☆Precision Eye Liner in "Perfect". ☆Moodstruck 3D Fiber Lash Mascara.

Lips: ☆Precision Liner in the color Primal. ☆Lucrative Lip Gloss in the color Lethal.

These are all Younique products. If you need any of these products in your life, you can place your order here.

Or find me on Facebook and let's talk about how we can score you some Younique products for really cheap, if not FREE!

Friday, March 27, 2015

Call Me Crazy, But...

...I'm in LOVE. You can be in "love" with makeup, right?

I started using makeup in 8th grade. Seeing as how I'm about to turn 34, that's a whole lot of years of makeup use. My makeup and style choices haven't always been good ones.

In 7th grade, I took a liking to wearing palazzo pants and pairing it with those cloth headbands... around my forehead. That earned me the nicknames "Rambo" and "Hippie Freak" from the jerkwads that used to bully me.

In 8th grade it was verrry light iridescent purple eye liner that I used as lipstick. That one earned me the nicknames "Undertaker", "Dead Girl", and "Zombie Chick".

Sophomore year in high school? Well, that was my Goth phase complete with black everything, including hair, nails, and lipstick,  studded dog collars, chains, Tripp Pants, and combat boots. I think a huge part of me will always favor the goth look. Lol

In my adult years, I struggled to find a good quality makeup. Foundation that doesn't look cakey on my combination skin, (Flakey on my dry patches and sliding off my face on my oily patches). Mascara? Yeah, I've tried them all. Volumizing, magnifying, lengthening, etc. After a while, I'd agonize over spending more money on more mascara knowing that more than likely I was going to get it home, try it out, and be utterly disappointed. And that's exactly the way it always happened. Nothing made any difference on my almost non existent lashes.

Enter Younique. I hosted a party for a friend, earned Younique Cash as a hostess reward and bought the Moodstruck 3D Fiber Lash Mascara. I tried it, expecting more disappointment- but booooy was I wrong! In fact, I was SO blown away by the results AND the fact that these results came from a naturally based product, that I knew I just HAD to become a presenter.

And here we are today! There are so damn many Younique products that I love, but the mascara will always be my one true love.

If strongly urge you, if you haven't tried it yet, TRY IT! I was a skeptic, too. And I couldn't have been more wrong! With Younique's 14 Day LOVE IT Guarantee, if you don't love it, return it within 14 days- NO QUESTIONS ASKED! You truly have nothing to lose... except maybe your old mascara.

Get yours HERE!

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Day 5..

I had a much needed meditation session last night. I had a lot of things that had been weighing me down for quite a while now and I could feel bitterness setting in. I needed to release it and let it go because I refuse to let situations that are beyond my control, poison my energy. Did you know that meditation can take you to the most awesome places?? For real!! Just look at these pics! By the last visit tho, when I opened my eyes and saw Mr T-Rex, I knew it was time to head back home. No way, man... no way.

LMAO Ok, so it can't really take you places, but it sure can clear your mind and rebalance your energy. I feel so much better now. I really need to get back to doing this on a regular basis. Do you meditate? If so, how often do you do it?

What I Love About Roller Derby...

There is just so damn much that I love about Roller Derby, but I'll try to keep in short and to the point...

I love the true sense of sisterhood and the never ending support and encouragement that my Derby Sisters give. That for the first time in my life, I feel like I've finally found someplace that I fit in, and am accepted, quirks and all.

I love that it pushes me to give my all. That it promises nothing, but offers everything, if you work for it. It pushes me outside of my comfort zone. Pushes me to constantly try and get better.

I love that when I lace up, get out there, and skate, I feel truly free. It calms the mosh pit of endless thoughts that bounce around in my head. I could be having the worst day ever, riddled with anxiety and stress, but once I start skating, it all just melts away.

I love the confidence I am gaining from it, and the way I am watching my body transform. I still have a long way to go on my weight loss journey, but it's happening more quickly with skating and I'm feeling muscles that I never knew I had.

And I LOVE that even if only for an hour and a half during practice, I cease to be mommy, taxi driver, chef, nutritionist, counselor, referee, bath giver, dog taker outer, poop cleaner upper, and the other hundred other hats I tend to wear each day. Don't get me wrong, I love being a mommy and wearing each and every one of those hats and I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world, but for one little moment in time, I get to just be... ME. And that is a pretty awesome thing. ♡

Day 4...

They say that variety is the spice of life and I think it holds especially true on a journey to losing weight and getting fit. I'm not even going to lie to you, I get bored with workouts real quick. And not just bored, I get booooooored. Thankfully I have a ton of different workout dvds on hand so that when that boredom hits, I can change it up. Tonight was one of those nights. And to my rescue? None other than Sweatin' To The Oldies.

There is just something about Richard Simmons that I just love. Like, I seriously adore that man. He is such a kind and gentle soul, devotes himself wholly to helping others, and let's not forget his energy. You simply cannot watch one of his videos without getting up and shaking your ass right along with him. Uggghh ♡♡♡

So anyways, Day 4 was a total success. I'm loving how in control I'm feeling again.  It's been a long time since I've felt that way. Can't wait to knock tomorrow out of the park, too!

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Day 3, Baby!!

I woke up this morning, hit snooze on every single one of my alarms, craaawled my ass out of bed and to the coffee pot, before realizing that I had forgotten to set the coffee pot to auto brew the night before. Such cruelty!! WHYYY? So I got my middle kiddle to school and then my littlest and I went home and sacked out on the couch to watch some tv while waiting for the damn coffee to finish brewing.

She was so sweetly snuggled up on me (and I live for those moments, as they are getting few and far between now that she's an "on the go go go" toddler.) and I could feel my eyes getting heavier, and my head starting to nod. Uggghh Maybe we can just lay down for a little bit? A power nap sounded great, but my body? My body abhors the whole idea of a power nap because let's face it, I didn't want a damn 20 minute nap. I wanted a 3 hour nap. lol

What's an exhausted mama to doooo? 

You get up and hit your workout hard, that's what you do!!! And let me tell you, I had so much more energy after working out that I didn't want a nap. Hell, I didn't even need my coffee!! Oh, I totally still drank it, but I didn't need it. Nothing comes between me and my coffee. 

And guess what?? I still had so much energy later on into the evening, that I got up and got another workout in. I didn't get nearly as sweaty, but I still got it done. BOOM, BABY!!

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Day 2..

I'll be honest with you, I was sooo incredibly tired all day. It would have been SO easy to skip my workout, plop my ass on the couch with a big ol mug of hot chocolate and zone out to a Criminal Minds marathon, and go to bed early, but isn't that part of what got me to the point I'm at?? So I decided to get it done. Not only get it done, but instead of just doing some upper body work like I had planned, I decided to do an insanity workout. I forgot just how brutal those workouts are! Lol Soooo glad I did it, tho.  I hope everyone had a GREAT day! I'm off to bed, so I'll see you tomorrow. 

Love and Light, Nighty Night,